Chronic Pain and life

Many of us deal with every day pain from things such as arthritis or fibromyalgia or other things. It affects our daily living in ways you can not even imagine. When we are young and healthy things such as making a bed or sitting up in a chair or taking a walk seems to be so easy. Waking up in the morning without pain was we thought just part of life we never even thought one day would disappear. There are nights that i can not rest because of pain. I deal with daily pain. Some days are better than others. I take medicine for this but even then it only does so much. Back in 2013 my life changed. Actually before then my knees were going down but in 2013 i had 3 of the 4 surgeries on my left knee alone. My back is starting to go, I can not just go for a walk anymore or make my bed without struggling somedays. I have other issues, my ears my feet and other issues. Doctors telling me i need to lose weight but not being able to because i can not exercise well these days. My story is minor compared to thousands in our world. I can get some of my strength back. I can not get help with my knees until im skinny doctors say.

I tell you some about my story because you are not alone. Physical limitations affect mental health in big ways. There are ways to not let it keep you down. All of my pain has taught me to be grateful for being able to do things when i am able. We have to learn to be grateful for all the small stuff in life. You never know when it will be gone.

Perfect example is the last 5 nights i have had ear pain and i have struggled to sleep, I was begging God to help me rest, Not even my muscle relaxer kept me knocked out. I was so exhausted by the time today came. Sleep itself is a natural function but even that can be taken for a bit and desperately missed.

Do not lose hope, I can not do things like i used to like my crafts and my walks but i try to be grateful even on my worst days to be thankful to God for everything even to breathe. Do not take anything for granted, remember you are worthy and do not lose hope. Even if you are stuck in a wheelchair try to remember to smell the roses and let sun shine on those pain filled cloudy days. Even if you do not see it many suffer and you are not alone. Stay strong, do not give up. Do not let your physical issues keep you down. Have faith in you even if doctors quit doing so so like they have me.

Abused by the system

How many of us out there did not abuse their kids but child protective services do not know how to leave you alone? I know there is many of us. I went through a bad situation with the CPS in Texas and south Carolina. I did not abuse my kids but yet I still lost full custody.

How do we deal with the emotions of losing our Angels to the system? To tell you my story it would take me awhile and I may end up putting my story up on here but my main goal is to let you know your not alone in your loss and grief. There are cases that foster parents abuse the kids more than the parents. In my case the foster parents wanted 2 of my kids and they were church going people but they lied in order to keep my kids from me. They made my kids think I did not care. Phonecalls got missed on purpose.. I did not get to get their calls when they were supposed to call me once a month. I couldn’t call them. The lawyer? They took him from me and I ended up with no lawyer. The ad litum which is the kids attorney lied on the stand about me not reading to my kids and more. The system is cruel. What did I do to deserve a life without my kids? I ran on my probation because they were in danger and no one would help me in Texas I mean no one. I did 90 days of jail time but yet I still lost my kids. Judge said love not enough. This is only part of my story. To this day I can not even know where they live or have any contact. I did not do drugs or alcohol and no abuse was found but yet I do not have them. Please stay strong. Your not alone out there. There are many adults that hurt children but CPS does nothing about the ones they know about. I celebrate my kids birthdays every year and I celebrate mothers day every year. Just keep your head up. Maybe we can help each other by listening and supporting each other through these times.

Being Bullied

When i was a child i was severely bullied in school. I could not go a day without people teasing me. I was different and no one cared to understand. I left the classroom one because kids were throwing pencils at me and the substitute did nothing to stop it. I remember getting on the bus one day and even kids i did not know made fun of me. Every school has a kid that gets picked on and i was it. The most severe was when i went to votech and i was tracing something on a posterboard and someone had placed a paper cutter on the floor hoping i would trip on it. I stepped back and yes i fell, my ear hit the table then the cutter then the floor. My ear was black and blue from that. I still have a slight dent in that ear after all these years. I did not know which girl did it but lets just say i was in pain and i was sent home to go see my doctor. Now kids use the internet to spread cruelty by fighting them and putting it online or just being mean with their words on the internet for the world to see. My mom ended up taking me out of school for my own safety. What people do not understand is Words do hurt. I am in my mid 40s and still working on building my self esteem because those kids and others through my life tried to convince me i was not worthy.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me is so not true. bruises go away and bones heal, but words stay and replay in a persons mind and that is where true cruelty lays. In my situation my abuse did not stop at just kids bullying me in school, I had little support at home, I was raped at 15 and Raped in my 20s I was abused and my heart was taken advantage of over a span of 41 years. My real dad sexually physically and emotionally abused me before i was 4 but in all the abuse i endured over the years it is the emotional abuse that hurt me the most. It was family teaching me i will amount to nothing. It was others only caring to get what they want from me. it was me being told i am no good over and over again.

I am just now learning how to love myself. i am just now strong enough to fight that broken record society put in my head. Words do hurt. My goal is to let you all know you are not alone. bullying is not just a childhood thing. You are wanted and loved and your beautifully made. No matter what your going through you are not a problem and you are worthy. I now have Ptsd anxiety and depression but i fight through this daily. I may can not solve your problem but i can listen and truly care. Lets come together and help remind each other that we are worthy and not let others from our present or our past tell us we are no good because they are lies. we are lovable we should not let them tell us different any longer. Stay strong out there. May God Bless you and keep you all safe and fill you with love.

Listening can save a life.

Hello, my name is Ariel, I want to welcome you all to my blog. I believe that if we listened and cared about others then we would be happier. I have rules, no dating and no bullying and no selling of products of any sort on this site. If you do you will be deleted and eventually banned. I want this to be a safe environment. How many felt alone in this life? I can not solve problems but I can listen and I’m hoping you all are supportive of each other. More posts and categories will be going up. I will be on here daily to clean out the trash so you criminals and scammers are warned now. Every one else? Please put a picture someway to identify you if not a picture. I will not stand for this site to be used by bots. Have a nice day. Be back soon.